Proactive Change & Resolutions

breaking bad habits

Some things are easy to change. You don't need me for those: you just do it.

Then, there's the other kind, the kind that seems to keep defeating you. You try... it's working for a while, then it's not. You try again, then stop... and you feel like a failure.

Why is this so difficult? Habits do not exist in a vacuum, they are intricately linked to many of the ways we think and feel and behave. For instance, smoking is not just the about the physical habit of smoking cigarettes; overeating is not just about consuming too much food...

The problem is, all these emotional links function pretty much below our consciousness. "Compulsive behavior" essentially means that we feel powerless over it.

You could think of a bad habit as a "virus" of the mind: it makes use of our mind's abilities to work against us. Our smart mind enables us to "learn" a habit, and to keep memorizing it as we repeat it, so it becomes more and more ingrained. Not only that, but our mind makes connections which root the habits even deeper, the way a tree's roots get ever deeper and wider into the soil.

It is difficult to change habits that are deeply ingrained... but it is not impossible. It helps to have a healthy respect for the difficulty of this task... but to not let this intimidate us.

Together, we go right into the eye of the storm: we explore what happens during these semi-conscious moments when you follow the bad habit.

I help you go through a "slow motion replay" of these difficult moments.

We explore together what happens, in a gentle, curious and accepting way. This helps you become more aware of what is happening, and how to fight it.

Change doesn't happen instantly. Success comes from both getting insights into what happens, and practicing new habits. Supportive coaching helps you overcome the ups and downs that are a normal part of the process of changing habits.

As you stick with it, this process brings about changes. And, as you act differently, you experience yourself as a different person.


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Serge Prengel

Self-Leadership: a proactive alternative to self-discipline



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